I don't know where this life is going to take me but I am certainly enjoying navigating the path.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

If this is a glimpse of the future I'm screwed

Everyday during the drive home from school Brandon nods off and Alexander and I talk about his morning at school. Today we were talking about which friend was the leader of the day & what they shared with the class as their "show item." (very fancy 2009 talk for show and tell)
So we talk about how his friend brought her cat "Magic School Bus" (no shit - that is the cat's name) to school. Of course he was thrilled to meet their cat and thought the name was hysterical "Mommy I never met a cat with that kind of name before!"

Then he moves into telling me that he wants to go to his friend Jenny's, (aka Magic School Bus' person), house to play with them. Now Jenny & her family are moving this weekend - oh, about 1200 miles away so I explain that we can't go to their house. Knowing my boy, I also know his response will be "maybe another day" therefore I feel compelled to tell him they are moving.

Well let me tell you, I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

After I told him they were moving it got real quiet for a minute. I looked in the rear view mirror & saw a sad, sad face. Tears welling up in his eyes, his bottom lip quivering ... my heart just broke. Noticing that I was looking at him he says in that cracking voice "But Mommy, I don't want my friends to move" Then, full on sobbing. Now I am trying to pick up the pieces of my heart that have fallen on the floor mat while I am driving on the parkway. UGH.

For the next 10 minutes he talked about how he was going to be sad when they leave & why are they leaving & couldn't I tell them to stay. (What do you say to that ?!?)

Meanwhile I too am sad. I'm sad because they are moving, I'm sad because I am losing a friend, I'm sad because my boys are losing friends, I'm sad because my boy is sad & I am sad at the circumstances (serious illness) requiring them to move. All the while trying to help him understand his emotions and the crappy reality of the situation. I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms, hold him tight & tell him everything will be alright which I did when we got home but deep in my heart I knew he didn't believe me. I knew he hurt and worse still, that I couldn't make his hurt go away.

Tomorrow will be their last day at school and I can only imagine how sad he will be. I completely get it - I have tears in my eyes just writing this post.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is going to be watching him deal with his first real heartbreak (think first girlfriend) considering how it felt watching him grow sad over this. Just a reminder that life is not easy no matter how old or young you are.

Either way it reminded me of one of my favorite sayings by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner that I thought I'd pass along ....
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the Bull not charge because you are a vegetarian."

Here is wishing each of you a wonderful tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. That was a beautiful post. Unfortunately, everyone, even our very own children, must learn of the sorrows of life.