I don't know where this life is going to take me but I am certainly enjoying navigating the path.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

If this is a glimpse of the future I'm screwed

Everyday during the drive home from school Brandon nods off and Alexander and I talk about his morning at school. Today we were talking about which friend was the leader of the day & what they shared with the class as their "show item." (very fancy 2009 talk for show and tell)
So we talk about how his friend brought her cat "Magic School Bus" (no shit - that is the cat's name) to school. Of course he was thrilled to meet their cat and thought the name was hysterical "Mommy I never met a cat with that kind of name before!"

Then he moves into telling me that he wants to go to his friend Jenny's, (aka Magic School Bus' person), house to play with them. Now Jenny & her family are moving this weekend - oh, about 1200 miles away so I explain that we can't go to their house. Knowing my boy, I also know his response will be "maybe another day" therefore I feel compelled to tell him they are moving.

Well let me tell you, I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

After I told him they were moving it got real quiet for a minute. I looked in the rear view mirror & saw a sad, sad face. Tears welling up in his eyes, his bottom lip quivering ... my heart just broke. Noticing that I was looking at him he says in that cracking voice "But Mommy, I don't want my friends to move" Then, full on sobbing. Now I am trying to pick up the pieces of my heart that have fallen on the floor mat while I am driving on the parkway. UGH.

For the next 10 minutes he talked about how he was going to be sad when they leave & why are they leaving & couldn't I tell them to stay. (What do you say to that ?!?)

Meanwhile I too am sad. I'm sad because they are moving, I'm sad because I am losing a friend, I'm sad because my boys are losing friends, I'm sad because my boy is sad & I am sad at the circumstances (serious illness) requiring them to move. All the while trying to help him understand his emotions and the crappy reality of the situation. I just wanted to scoop him up in my arms, hold him tight & tell him everything will be alright which I did when we got home but deep in my heart I knew he didn't believe me. I knew he hurt and worse still, that I couldn't make his hurt go away.

Tomorrow will be their last day at school and I can only imagine how sad he will be. I completely get it - I have tears in my eyes just writing this post.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is going to be watching him deal with his first real heartbreak (think first girlfriend) considering how it felt watching him grow sad over this. Just a reminder that life is not easy no matter how old or young you are.

Either way it reminded me of one of my favorite sayings by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner that I thought I'd pass along ....
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the Bull not charge because you are a vegetarian."

Here is wishing each of you a wonderful tomorrow.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Busy, Busy, Busy

I can't believe it has been 2 months since I last blogged. Not that anyone noticed really but still it was weighing on my mind, like a responsibility I let fall to the wayside.

Life is just busy. With two boys under the age of 5, a new puppy, a husband who is super busy at work, housework, and two graduate classes I am pooped. Oh and did I mention I stupidly volunteered to be on the carnival committee for my son's school. That is the last time I believe "we have everything in a binder so it should be a snap." HA!

I don't know how women who work full time & manage a family do it. My hat is off to you ladies!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Windy Days sure got me thinking..

This all started with Windy's post about the morality of spending money on voluntary surgery vs. helping the less fortunate. (read her post b/c it is much more interesting than my recap)

Here's my two cents (who am I kidding, here is the whole quarter) plus the added bonus of me playing devil's advocate. I know you can hardly contain yourself.

Jumping in head first with a personal disclosure; voluntary plastic surgery is on my radar. Not the face lift or butt implant type of plastic surgery more the “these boobs are weighing me down” kind of surgery. I have always wanted a breast reduction & now that I am done having babies this could be a reality. I was never a little boob kind of girl in fact I had my first bra in 3rd grade - don’t even get me started on the joys & scars related to that unwanted male attention. So after going up to a ‘H’ while nursing both boys (They were true working girls), my ta-tas have lost their girlish qualities if you catch my drift. They measure more like pants now – 38 Long. Anyway, I am at a point where I am thinking of having a breast reduction and I struggle with the idea of voluntary surgery – what if something goes wrong – and the overall cost which seems wasteful, but yet I can’t quite convince myself to give up on the idea.
I also know many women who have had nose jobs, boob jobs, etc. and they are generous, kind ladies who were just unhappy with their appearance. For them it was nirvana and I can only admire the positive change it made in their psyche. So again, this issue is near & dear to me because I too struggle with the concept of plastic surgery.

But back to my original thoughts …
I am all for lending a helping hand; those who know me know I am always the first in the crowd to rally for foster children, the elderly, the disenfranchised, etc. however I can't really share Windy’s disgust with K-K-Kathy's desire for voluntary surgery. Who am I to say she shouldn't? Can she afford it? What does it mean to her? Is it my business? I don’t know her financial situation but maybe to her spending money on a mini-lift is like me pulling out my debit card at Publix – something done on a regular basis without much thought. Or maybe she has $50k in credit card debt & doesn’t have a care in the world. Does it matter? Should I begrudge her the opportunity to have a face so tight she looks like Joan Rivers?
It’s a slippery slope …
If we judge her than how do we view the parent who can't afford health care for their kid or can't escape the cycle of public assistance yet still buys a beer at dinner with friends? Does that make her a bad person? Does she not deserve to have a cold beer? Should we all collectively sigh with the heavy thought that perhaps she should have water & put that $4 toward her household bills instead of a Sierra Nevada? That would be awful. Besides, if we are being honest with ourselves aren’t we all guilty of spending money that could go to a better cause be it charity or self improvement? Does anyone really need to eat out more than 1x per week? Isn’t that wasteful? I could feed a village with the $50 it costs to feed my family of four when dine out.
Most days when I go to Pet Smart I add a couple of bucks to my bill to help feed homeless pets but some days I don’t – does that make me any less charitable? I can afford the $2 so am I selfish? I don’t think so.
Should the person behind on their mortgage or credit card bills not spend any money on any "nice to haves" & just stick 100% to the "need to have" list? I don't know. I think there are arguments on both sides. Balance is tricky & whether we want to acknowledge it or not we all have a sense of entitlement that we satisfy every now & again. If we didn’t imagine what a plummet the travel industry would take.
When I was struggling living on my own making $18k a year paying $490/month rent & another $150/month car insurance not to mention essentials like food & gas for my car so I could get to my sorry ass job, I was BROKE. So broke that I often needed to ask my landlord for an extension on my rent, yet I still scraped together a few bucks to go out with my friends on a Friday night. Was that awful? No. Irresponsible? Maybe. But was I despicable? No. I just needed an outlet & and escape from the crapper that was my life and some dancing & a few Buds helped take my mind off my troubles if only for a few hours. Is that so bad?
Really, what is the magic number of charitable deeds that abolishes all self indulgence – 20% of income? 10 hours per month? It is silly to think in terms of black & white.
Ideally I would love it if everyone were charitable. Imagine the impact we could make if every person in the US sent $1 to the same charity – approx. $304 million dollars would make its way to that organization. Now imagine if we did this every month or if we asked people to skip the Starbucks latte or the McDonalds Happy Meal & instead donate that money to cancer research. Imagine the impact we could make. Maybe we could change the world so no one ever has to hear the words “You have cancer” ever again. That would be nirvana.

So off my soapbox I jump and propose that if Kathy with a K is willing to accept the financial responsibility of her Mini-face lift & she is happy with her decision than I say "Go for it!"

I certainly don't have the answers.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Roger Goodell, NFL Commish - are you effing kidding me!!!!

Has Roger Goodell lost his friggin mind?!? Vick is eligible for conditional reinstatement !! Are you fucking kidding me!!?? If you are as OUTRAGED as I am please, please stand up & be heard.
Send him a letter at:
National Football League
Attn: Roger Goodell, Commissioner
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
e-mail: Roger.Goodell2@nfl.net (This is what I could find via the net so I am not sure if this e-mail address is active but the address is correct)

Now before some of you jump down my throat & say "the man paid his time" - Yeah, OK. What he did was heinous & he should not be allowed back in the NFL. Of course the NFL has a very generous forgiveness policy just look at the others who were allowed back after committing crimes. And yes, I know that the reinstatement does not mean he will get to play it means he is eligible to be picked up by a team.

My point & my opinion is that he should not be reinstated. Simple.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Sean Penn - WOW !


Last night Smarty & I sat down and watched Milk and let me just say "Holy Crap, that was a fantastic, powerful, brilliant, enlightening, heroic, beautiful movie." Sean Penn was completely transformed into this character; he was so believable and sincere, he was amazing. James DeFranco, Wow - what a great role for him too. There was no awkwardness or stiffness in their scenes, they felt very real and kind. Even Smarty didn't have that typical straight male discomfort when watching two men kiss. I think because it was portrayed so naturally without the typical Hollywood pure sex focus that it was easy to get lost in their love and their lives. And the ending was beautifully done. The long parade of people walking with their lit candles just took my breath away.
I hope this movie educated people about the inequalities in our country and how important it is to stand up & be heard. I know sometimes it is hard to buck the system and much easier to go with the status quo but as this movie highlighted, it is those few brave souls who are willing to stand up, peacefully organize and become champions for a cause that make it possible for so many to enjoy equality.
It takes a spark to start a fire.



Saturday, July 18, 2009

Margaritas, Fate, Love & Life



A little over 12 years ago fate intervened and I found myself a few hours deep in more than one pitcher of margaritas with my, never in a million years would I have thought he would be, future husband. What started out as a happy hour with friends turned into the beginning of a whole new life for me. When we met I was all set to move to Northern California and nothing was going to get in my way.... or so I thought, silly me!
That chubby Cupid baby shot his arrow & before I knew what was happening we were in love and shacking up in a rented baby blue mouse house (really it was only 520 square feet. You could literally sit on the bowl & wash your hands at the same time. No kidding).

See I told you !

A few months later he got down on bended knee & asked me to be his wife. My answer - YES, YES, YES!!!

We married, went on vacations, had fun, had arguments, got on each other's nerves, kissed, made up, and just enjoyed each others company. It is so cliché but he really is my best friend and I can’t imagine life without him. So today on his birthday I would like to yell from the electronic mountains and tell all the Internet voyeurs what an amazing man, friend, Mardi-Gras boogie king, husband & father he truly is.

Happy 40th Birthday Smarty my Love.
You rocked my world 12 years ago & still rock my world today.
I Love You deeply.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Some good news & some not so good news

The not so good news is my kitty (he's 10) has diabetes. He has been drinking water like a wild man this week so I knew something was up. Hobbes is a big boy weighing in at 17.4 lbs (pick up your bottom jaw, we know he is large). I'm telling you this cat eats 3/4 cup science diet light everyday - that is it! I think he is so large due to genetics and b/c he doesn't have to work for anything. He is an inside cat & the most exercise he gets is jumping up on my bed. I adore him.

So with this recent change in behavior I had to take him to the vet ASAP. We lost our dog Shelby in October and seriously folks, if something were to happen to Hobbes I would need a Zoloft drip. I just couldn't deal right now.

As soon as I got him in the exam room they did a blood sugar test & his was .... 601 ! Oh Shit! Apparently the upper limits in the normal range is somewhere near 160 so this was a biggie. We love our pets like they are our kids so if this is manageable then I am all in. Thankful that it wasn't cancer (I have lost 2 pets to cancer & I just couldn't bear to hear that again right now) I am on a mission. We are going to modify his diet & start with a very modest dose of insulin & recheck in 1 week. Apparently diet is a HUGE factor & can actually put him in remission because we caught it right away. (We had a full blood panel done on him in January & it was 145 so we know this is recent).

I gave him his first injection today & he took it like a champ. Of course I'd be willing to bet he didn't even feel it with all that extra weight but knowing that he didn't even flinch made me feel better. Quality of life is so important & I would hate for him to be miserable or in pain.

So overall, not the worst news but not the best either.

Now the good news ...

I lost another 4 pounds!!!

Yep, that's right - I'm a rockstar and I have the saggy jeans to prove it! Don't even need to unzip them, they just slip right on like a pair of sweats. Sweet.
I've been going to "Chub Club" (weight watchers) for a few weeks now & have been doing pretty good (8 lbs in 4 weeks). My goal is to lose around 40 more (yeah, two kids & lots of emotional eating made me a chunky monkey) & I don't care if it takes a year as long as I get this emotional eating thing under control.

Regardless, I was super psyched to hear the lady say "wow you are down 4 pounds this week" that I did a little victory dance right there next to the scale.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What's in a name?

Turns out a lot. Tip-toeing into this blogging thing I thought I'd have to hide my identity so I picked a name & viola, I became Gina.

All was well, except.....

I just couldn't jive with that name. Everytime I wrote it all I could think of was my niece - Gina. She is a Gina. Me, well not so much. So I am coming clean.

Bye Bye Gina .... Hello Mel

Puppy Love


I think my boy has a Crush



Over the weekend we had a 4th Birthday party for our son, Calvin. As we are getting ready to sit down for Pizza & Cake (you know the standard kid party menu) he says “I want Emily to sit next to me.” Hmm. OK.

A little odd considering he is not big on the friendship thing & would rather “work alone.” But it’s cute so I’m going with it.
Emily walks into the room & he yells out “Emily, I want you to sit right here” pointing to the chair next to him. Emily being a sweet little 5 year old girly-girl says in that soft little girl voice “OK” & hops up. Adorable.

Then this happened ….

7:15am “Mommy, when Emily turns 6 can I go to her birthday party?”
7:15:22 “Mommy, when its my 5th birthday Emily is going to come to my party.”
7:20am “Mommy, when Emily comes to my house I am going to let her play with my new Mater truck. You know the one that can tow Lightning McQueen. I think that will make her happy.”
7:30am “Mommy, I think BamBam will like to play with Emily too”
Leaning over, stroking little brother BamBam’s hair
“BamBam, you will love Emily, she will like to play with you.”

In the car on the way to school & the Daughtry song “Feels like tonight” comes on the radio (the Professor really likes that cd)

7:40am “Mommy, Can you bring the “tonight” song in the house so I can play it for Emily”
7:40:20am “and the “Home” song too, I think Emily will like that one too”
7:42am “Mommy, is Emily going to be at school today?”
7:45am “Mommy, when can Emily come to our house to play?”
7:50am “Mommy, Emily came to my birthday party” BIG Smile

Pulling into the school parking lot

7:55am “Mommy, I want to go to Emily’s house to see her”

In the classroom,
Me: Hugs & Kisses, see you after lunch:

8am “Mommy, is Emily going to be here today?”

Me: I don't know. See you later. Have a great day.

12:30pm Picking him up from school.

Me: Hey buddy, how was school today?

“Mommy, is Emily going to come over our house today? I want Emily to come to my house today. I am going to put the Tonight song on for her. She will like it. Maybe we can do the dancing. Then we can play cars. I'm going to share my Mater. I am going to show her my car board. Mommy, I want Emily to ……”

…all the way home - all afternoon - all evening.

Guess who will be calling Emily’s Mom

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Blog etiquette?


I feel like I haven't been here in ages & I haven't. I have been tied up in birthday parties (big fun), new TV's, new Dish, new ISP, and lots of school work (just knocked out a 20pg paper & am so glad it is the last big assignment of this semester) = no energy for blogland.


Now I'm sitting here with lots to say but not quite sure where to go. Blogging is odd. It's like a blank piece of paper where you can write anything you want with one caveat, anyone can see it. Hmm. Ain' t that some shit.


I could write about the birthday & how I had a blast sliding down the big inflatable kiddie slides....I could write about how pissed off I am at my professor...I could write about the crazy hillbilly party I went to on Friday.... or perhaps how freaked out this recent crime in our town has made me. I just don't know where to go. which brings me back to my original thought..


Is there blog etiquette? If someone blogs about the awesome thing they just experienced, do you think "she's so full of herself" If someone rants & releases some written anger, do you think "Ugh, if I want to hear someone bitch I will turn on Conservative Radio" If someone blogs about a random thought, do you think "who give a crap?" Does any of this matter?


Sunday, July 5, 2009

We never had these in New York


Here is my "laugh at the crazy northerner" moment of the day.


These bugs you southerners call "roaches" FREAK ME OUT!!! To say I hate them does not even capture my true feelings. When I see one I instinctively do the following, almost always in this order:
1) Scream like a little girl
2) Yell "I F**kin hate these bugs!!" (Even if I am the only one within a 10 mile radius.)
3) Yell "I F**kin hate the south!"
4) Grab the nearest aerosol can & spray the crap out of it.
5) When I think it is safe to get closer I drop something heavy on it until I am SURE it is dead.
6) Run into the house (or if heaven forbid it made its way into my house, run into another room) with the "willies", wash my hands as if I were walking into an OR, then still cursing get something to drink & try to calm down.

Tonight as I was opened the garage door to throw something into the recycle container I saw this evil creature walking around near the steps. My girlish scream made him jump & he just stopped moving. As if he was thinking "Holy crap what was that. Maybe if I stand still it will go away" Silly bug - don't you know who you are dealing with.
I quickly close the door & run to the hall closet where all I can find are 3 spray cans of Lysol. I go back to the laundry room & open the door - I spot him hiding behind the dehumidifier so I blast him. I must have emptied a quarter of that can on this bugger & he was still moving. So quick I look around (b/c I am NOT going to let him out of my sight) & find a spray can of sunscreen. OK that might work so I blast him with that. No dice but he is moving a bit slower. Woo-Hoo. Now I am in the garage & run to the utility shelf & pull out a can of wasp killer - JACKPOT! Now I walk back to the stumbling bug & BLAST him with the wasp killer. STILL he is moving. FUCK! So all I could do was pick up a container of old electronics & drop it on his sorry butt.


Dead at Last, Dead at Last. Thankfully he is Dead at Last.

TV dilemma solved

We are now the proud owners of a 47" LCD !!!
Don't know if Smarty read the blog this morning while I was out picking up food for Hobbes (our very hungry cat) but if he did - here is a BIG shout out to my love.
He hung back while I went to Best Buy & wrapped up the purchase, arranged for delivery & installation and was back in time to make a big salad & fruit tray to bring to our friend's 4th of July Blast.
All in all, I'd say it was a success on two fronts; 1)Smarty didn't get agita (Ah-Jit-ta: Italian for heartburn or in this case the pain you feel in your gut when you have to do something you don't want to do) from all the decisions and sticker shock and 2) I didn't have to deal with the drawn out decision making process. Of course the fact that I got to do the purchasing was also a plus in my book b/c I have a bit of a control issue - let's just say I am a strong willed woman.

So Hooray for us & our new TV. Will let you know how it looks in our family room on Wednesday!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Crap - the TV's on the Fritz


The time has come to bid our HUGE projection TV goodbye. There is no denying it's impending fate; the color is all whacked out, the image goes from normal to wavy (think High School Acid Trip) & the picture randomly shuts off although the sound remains on.

Now normal folks would say "Crap - the TV is on the fritz. Time to go to the nearest appliance store and get a new one" but not in the Frugal family house. We (and by "we" I mean my husband Smarty) hem & haw, we reluctantly measure for space, we look at ads, we research TV reviews, we go to the store (just to look of course), come home turn on the gasping for air TV and think some more. (insert long sighs here)

Needless to say, this drives me CRAZY !!!! I am the "oh crap the TV is on the fritz", quick scan of research & then off to the store to purchase a new TV type of gal. Not to mention I went through this not too long ago with the washing machine so I am really over it. With the washer it took TWO months to pick a replacement after the repair man told us it would cost more to repair than replace. Two freaking months of me praying to the washing machine gods ever time I did a load of laundry. Now mind you I cloth diaper my kids so I spend a great deal of time in the laundry room so that was a long time. Two months of "do we want a front loader or a top loader?" "I'm not spending $1500 on a washing machine" "I can't think about this today." Finally, at 5 months pregnant with baby #2 I lost it & declared today is the day we get a new washer and off we went to Lowe's; the following morning two nice men from Lowe's placed my new Duet Sport in my laundry room and soon thereafter it was churning out its first load. So you see I have been down this road & I can tell you it is bumpy.

As for the TV - I'm thinking LCD, somewhere in the 46 inch range. Best Buy is currently running a sale, they will deliver, install & recycle my old TV all included in the purchase price. Now if it were me, I'd be there at 10am when they open, have it wrapped up by 11am all before the sale/promo ends tomorrow. But that's just silly old me.

Let's see what Smarty thinks .....

Friday, July 3, 2009

Birthdays


My boy is a hop, skip & jump away from his 4th birthday and I am still amazed.

I want to run up to my OB & hug him because if it weren’t for him, my life would have taken a very different turn. Then I want to get in my car, drive over to the “highly recommended women’s practice” and tell that ignorant doctor who told me I needed a hysterectomy (over the phone mind you) at the age of 31 that she is a jackass while I flash the photos of my two beautiful boys in her face. (Really, I am a kind person but there are some things you just don't screw with & a woman's fertility is one of them.)

Through all the “what ifs” Smarty (my man) & I went back and forth about how we would be OK without kids, how we would travel & maybe I’d go to law school. Such fools! It’s amazing how we lie to ourselves b/c it is easier than feeling the pain of disappointment. I can say it was a lie b/c having these two guys running around the house is the best gift I have ever been given and changed my life - who am I kidding, it changed me - for the better.

So in honor of the big day I will make the Professor a Lightning McQueen cake (that he won’t eat b/c he doesn’t eat cake) and some sugar cookies with Red sprinkles (the only sweets he will entertain) and sing Happy Birthday with a smile in my heart and tears of joy in my eyes. Then at night when I tuck him into his bed I will hug him tight, tell him I Love him & whisper the same words I do every night, “Have a party in your dreams tonight.”

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hypocrites

Gov. Mark Sanford (R-S.C.) has consistently voiced his opposition to Civil Unions and voted to define marriage as One man and One Woman and I can't help to see that he has done a stellar job of upholding the sanctity of marriage by cheating on his wife. Yep, isn't it amazing how so many right wing, against marriage equality politicians have such large skeletons in their closets.

When are we going to stop electing Jackasses who impose THEIR views & beliefs instead of those of their constituents?

SIGH

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Professor Says ...

Welcome to the new segment I'd like to call "Professor Says." Professor is my soon to be 4 year old; he is smart, serious, spirited (he gets that from me) & hysterical. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh at him because his delivery is just so pure. Here's a sampling from just this Friday ...

Background info - we call farts "Burps". Yeah, Yeah, it's weird but what do you call them?
Friday morning he was getting undressed so I could put sunscreen on & when I told him he needed to take off his undies he says with a straight face "Mom, there's a big skid in my underwear" to which I reply "Do you have to go poop?" without skipping a beat he says with a smirk "No, I was playing with my trains this morning & I made a CRAZY burp and got a skid!" He is a man in training. If he lets more than one rip he will say "There's a lot of big burps coming from my tush!" and laugh. He's awesome!

Friday night we are standing in the bathroom brushing teeth watching me in the mirror the entire time, he takes the toothbrush out of his mouth & says "Mommy your head is shaped like a bagel" I ask, "what is your head shaped like?" He replies, "My head is shaped like a bagel too & Bam-Bam's (his 1 year old brother) head is shaped like a bagel. But Daddy's head is shaped like a Cantaloupe."

He is scrumptious!

Who would have thought that ...


.... Two of my brothers are named Tom & Gerry

... I once told Ricky Henderson, the all-time stolen base champ that he needed to hustle. (My husband LOVES this one)
... I am a BIG Mary when it comes to lightening - it scares the crap out of me
... I lived in a haunted house - No shit!
.... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Golden Gate Park & want my ashes sprinkled there when I'm done.

... When servers bring the Lobsters over to your table so you can choose which one you would like for dinner IT FREAKS ME OUT !!! (No shock that I don't eat Lobster)

... I dress up like a 70's Disco Queen for Mardi Gras & dance like crazy as we roll down the Parade Route. We are fierce!!!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

It's 10:55pm - do you know where you blogger is?

Flash - while you are dreaming of fantastic voyages and brilliant sunsets, I am sitting here trying to make sense of the world all because you ask "when are you going to blog again?"

So for you & anyone else who is so kind to read, I give you a few new posts and a promise to TRY to blog more frequently. I will share mindless rambles, sentimental baubles & wacky stories but for now I am off to bed.

"Goodnight stars, Goodnight air, Goodnight noises everywhere"

Friends

Every now & again I take a few moments to reflect on my life & the people in it; Sunday was one of those days.
I was talking with a friend who just relocated and completely remembered how lost I felt when I moved from NY to FL. I soo didn't expect that to happen in fact prior to the move when people asked me if I was nervous my response was consistently "I am an outgoing person, I'm sure it won't be a problem for me." Boy was I wrong. It was soo hard to start over building friendships in my 30's. When we are kids we choose friends by playground rules but as adults so much more goes into friendship. Whether we want to admit it or not we incorporate appearances, social status, economic status into our decision making process. I think we really are drawn toward people similar to ourselves b/c it brings a sense of comfort, a feeling of unity if you will. Now before you freak out let me explain that I have friends of all shapes, sizes, persuasions, etc - they are a diverse group & I know that within that group there are some who would label others "not their cup of tea." So I got to thinking about which friends I feel most comfortable with & why.
My best friend Pam is a down to earth, never a harsh word about anyone, honest, kind-hearted soul who I love dearly. We have the type of friendship where we can go months without talking to one another (she lives in NY) & then pick up as if we saw each other yesterday. I never feel out of place in her presence.
My friend Lisa (also in NY) is a bit of a looney but again she has a heart of gold and understands what is it to be a true friend. We talk often & never skip a beat. We know each others secrets & fears but most importantly we have each other's back.
Now here in my new life I have some friends that make people wonder. They can be so superficial at times so much so that I have left their home feeling bad about myself - YUCK! So frustrating but when they allow themselves to live in the moment & NOT for someone else they are fantastic.
Then there are two of my newest friends, Holly & Flash who I just think are beautiful. They remind me of home & for that I adore them. It hit me one day when I was watching their children & had to go to the junk drawer for some tape. I stepped back & laughed out loud because I LOVE that they have a junk drawer. I Love a junk drawer! I Love my junk drawer! It is not so much the stuff in it but rather the honesty involved in both having & admitting to a junk drawer. It is like declaring to the world "hey I have some crap, I'm not perfect & you know what that crap comes in handy from time to time - maybe even helped me "McGyver" my way out of a sticky situation." It is being comfortable in your skin & not afraid to show it that I dig.

So to all my friends - I Love Ya'!

A little less of me

Four pounds less to be exact. (this is where you say "woo-hoo")
Last week after deciding I didn't want to look in the mirror anymore I joined Weight Watchers or as I like to affectionately refer to it - Chub Club. The last time I did the program was in 2000 prior to moving the Florida & having 2 kids & I rocked it out. This time I really am going to take my time & not push for the super weight loss in warp speed b/c that is just going to trip me up in the end. I am going for the change of life event & if it takes me a bit longer than so be it, I'm up for the challenge.
I just got to the point where I realized I have been able to achieve anything I put my mind to EXCEPT for maintaining my weight & it really is about time to finally overcome that hurdle. I am finally in a place where I genuinely like who I am on the inside & want to feel the same about the outside. I would joke around and say "I may be fat but at least I am interesting" but I really want to be interesting and NOT fat. This week confirmed that I am one step toward accomplishing this goal. I'm counting points & learning to enjoy the ride.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

How Clean is Clean?

This morning I was dust busting under my kids chairs, thought about all the time I spend cleaning and wondered if it was all in vain. Now my house is not "momma" clean (you know the kind of cleaning you do before you mom comes to visit) but it is pretty clean. I vacuum at least twice a week, wash the floors at least once a week, dusting is another issue that only happens when I am having a party or if I am really just having a clean freak kind of day. Usually I dust around objects but if people are coming over I will move them just in case someone picks something up they don't notice the ring of shame.
Anyway, I was thinking about how I am the one who does most of the cleaning & how my husband chooses to spend his time playing with the kids instead of cleaning which makes him the "fun" parent. So I was thinking about this and about how he has the right idea which got me to thinking about my Mom and her cleaning ways. She was a crazy cleaner, still is. In fact she was here a few months ago & decided to wash the walls for me. I can honestly tell you I have washed the walls in my house but it was definitely not within this past year. When she comes to visit one of her favorite things to do outside of playing with the boys is to clean. It "relaxes" her. One of her favorites is to clean the floors. On one visit I went out to the grocery store & came home to find her on her hands & knees using Soft Scrub on my vinyl floors trying to get the scuff marks out. She is nuts!
One time when I was 15 or so we lived in a house that had wood floors. Wood floors were a BIG deal to my Mom & she cared for them constantly. She liked them to Shine! Coincidentally, she worked at a department store where the floors squeaked which gave her an idea - she asked one of the maintenance guys for some of the floor wax so she could try it out at home. Of course she didn't have the big buffing machine they had but she was convinced she could do a great job with her trusty mop. So she went home, planned her Saturday around the waxing of the floor & truth be told, they looked awesome! Nice & shiny - she was so proud. But she noticed the floor looked much better than the stairs (also wood) so she decided to wax them as well. Again, same industrial strength wax & her trusty mop. The too were gorgeous. A few hours later the doorbell rang, Mom went to get it & "weeeee - Thud" there went Millie sliding on her bum all the way down her pretty stairs!!!! It would have been even funnier if she didn't break her leg but still it was pretty hysterical.
My house may be clean but you can bet I won't be slipping down the hallway anytime soon unless the boys are pushing.

Happy Cleaning Everyone!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Bye Bye Virginity


My Blog virginity that is. C'mon did you really think I was going to tell you all about how I lost my virginity, the crown royale of every girl's entry into "womanhood." How his breath was warm, his touch gentle & I felt like an angel on earth. Oh sweet memories... Hold on while I reminisce..... OK, OK, ... enough dry heaving for one night. Seriously, first times are tough & almost always fall way below our romanticized teenage expectations.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. I have had this blog account for a LONG time but never really got around to writing despite the continuous stream of words, thoughts and ideas that run through my head. "Maybe I should write about this .... But this would be more interesting ... OOO, what about that.... and more recently - who gives a crap what I write about." So tonight I am embracing my who gives a crap attitude & am jumping in. You see two of my good friends are bloggers & I have to tell ya, they crack me up. Not just because they are so mushy, gooey in love (although that does make me laugh and smile) but because they have attracted some "cyber-groupies" who I picture in my mind sitting by their PC's (or MAC's) laughing out loud telling their friends about the daily adventures of "Life Is" and "Along." or maybe I will call them Hollie & Flash. Regardless, I want my own cyber groupies :)

So I can't promise a subject focused blog - knowing me it will most likely be a shoot from the hip, foot in mouth, she is freakin' crazy type of a blog but I can promise it won't be dull. So hop in & enjoy the ride, it may be what you were hoping for.

Till next time ....
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